Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Pseudologia Fantastica

Big words for a simple problem, that being habitual or complusive lying.. ie pathological lying about a situation or condition. Also termed "mythomania" which I also considered for the title, but decided the longer one that sounded like a bad science fiction acid trip worked better. I think I'm going to save it for my repetoire of words and throw it out there along with "infinitestical" as often as I can.

Infinitestical? Oh yes, but that's for another post.

So lets have a look at this, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pathological_liar . Wikipedia defines the characteristics of this type of behavior:

The defining characteristics of pseudologia fantastica are that, first, the stories told are not entirely improbable and often have some element of truth. They are not manifestations of delusion or some wider form of psychosis. Upon confrontation, the teller can admit them to be untree, even if unwillingly.

In other words, they build a story around a small kernel of fact. The problem with this is that eventually they lie to so many people they are unable to keep the story straight and then the truth begins to pour out.

What makes people do this? I'm sure many of you reading this has known someone that can't tell the truth if their life depended on it, and sometimes it does. Hopefully you purged people like this from your life when this nasty little habit was thrown out into the open, but for those of you that have someone in your life that is a pathological liar and no way to just make them go away, just let me say I feel for you.

I can honestly say that in all my life I've know... four? Way back in school there was a kid that lived in a rather impoverished area of our very, very small town. He was well known for telling "stories". They weren't the kind of lies that would hurt anyone, they just served to make him look silly as he was found out everytime. The second one was a dear friend of mine, who did this and I knew it, but I learned to just glean through the commentary to pick out the truth. Hers was done to make herself look (and probably feel) important as she had some real problems going on in her life. The third one is about the same, a life being so downtrodden and sad as to warrant pity and compassion, but no strength or motivation to rise above it. He is also quite easy to read and it's pretty obvious when he's telling the truth or lying.

The fourth person I've known that has this, well I can't really call it anything but a disease as pathology itself is a study of diseases, does it willingly and knowingly and only to improve their life and station in life. They will create stories which have some basis in fact, but are mostly all fiction and drama. In a different regard from the 3 people mentioned above, this one has no compunctions as to doing this, knows full well they are doing it and just flat doesn't care. The wake they leave behind them as this carries on can be quite devastating emotionally for the friends who stand behind them, only to find out they were horribly in the wrong all along. For this type of person I can only hope that eventually they will develop some compassion and empathy for others. At some point they are going to meet up with someone who quite simply, will set them in their place and if they are lucky, they won't be hurt physically in the process. The biggest problem with this type of person is that you just never know when to believe them, and when they are lying to your face. They honestly believe the fabrication they have thrown out there, but if pinned to the wall they will admit the untruth. It's pinning them to the wall that gets tricky because they jump from one person to the next, repeatedly looking for someone new to coerce or convince something other than what is really going on. By the time the trait is learned, the damage is done and they have moved on to the next innocent victim.

I'm not a scientist, but even the scientific world can't agree on exactly what causes this phenomenon. Personally I have to ask myself, is it self image? Is it and overpowering need to be something that they are not and the inability, or unwillingness to go through the proper steps to attain the pinnacle they would like to have everyone believe they reside? Is it some kind of chemical imbalance? Is it hormonal? Genetic? I've never been one to argue nature or nurture as I feel both impact our world, but like the lifetime criminals that argue they are the way they are due to their parents, it simply doesn't fly once they are out on their own and still committing the acts as they are then completely under their own control and guidance. There does come a point in your life when the situations you find yourself in are all yours and nobody elses.

If you take nothing else from this reading, know for a certainty that you, and you alone create your environment. We all set the attitude of our daily lives and if you manage to maintain a calm, then you have reached a level I've not yet attained definitely, but one I strive for. Sometimes this means cutting the nasties from my life and concentrating on the positives. (I'm getting very good at biting my fingers though!) However, if you are in a constant environment of stress and turmoil then perhaps you should look inward to find the common source, ask yourself honestly what you can do to change your position in life, and for once in your life, be honest with yourself as hard as the realization may be.

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